How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think I am morally bankrupt
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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