I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
