bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
