It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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