For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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