Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
