Sponge bath it is.
You work out of a Hotel?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
