I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
