i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
