it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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