just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
