I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
