Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
