i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
