Where is the hickey?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
