i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
