i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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