Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
