I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
