I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
