Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
