my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
third nipple confirmed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
