Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
