dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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