Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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