Cold hands, warm shart.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
