if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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