actually, I'm a sock model
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
