you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's shark week go big or go home
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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