He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
