She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
