im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
