And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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