Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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