i don't like sucking hair
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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