If that was your dad, he is hot
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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