I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think my fart just growled at me.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
