at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
