Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
