WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
