i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
