I need help removing her.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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