If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
bring money and cleavage
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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