He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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