You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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