Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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