fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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