this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
