omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
