if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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