I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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