There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
