Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
