My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize