don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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