I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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