hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
