jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
