We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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