Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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