is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
