im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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