do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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